A Grimm ending

Not all stories have a happy ending.

Sometimes, the princess's hair just doesn't quite reach the knight in shining armor.

It is the stories without neat, hopeful endings that try our patience and push our emotional boundaries. Maybe for good. Often for bad.

And all too often society has a way of pushing these stories under the surface, largely because they fail to conform to archetypical conceptions of plot development and conclusion. Call these "normative expectations" or what have you, but they've fundamentally shaped our interaction with and perception of sports, and life.

Remember Ted Williams?

No, not the baseball player

Ted Williams was the Ohio Native (and homeless drug addict) who gained fame for a YouTube video demonstrating his unique talent, a particularly sonorous baritone voice perfect for an announcer's booth.

Demonstrating the Internet's amazing capacity to elevate obscurity to renown, this man was offered a job by the Cleveland Cavaliers to announce home games.

The story was perfect. And it spread like wildfire.

For the modern media cycle, that was that. A man down on his luck, with an amazing gift, was ultimately rewarded by a system where the wheat rises from the chaff.

As you may have guessed, this is not one of those stories.

After having lost everything, and regained it all in one fell swoop, Ted Williams entered voluntary rehab. And left less than 2 weeks later.

Talk about a fall from grace! baziiing!

I won't go on and on about the implications this story has for media coverage, in general, and how we relate to sports, specifically, but ask yourself: how much coverage was devoted to the former facts, and how much to the latter?

Stumped?

Unequivocally, people love a success story. And really don't like dealing with being let down. It shapes everything in terms of how we consume media. How the hell else would you explain the box office popularity of Will Smith's "The Pursuit of Happyness"? Crack?

Actually, we can blame a familiar downfall on that one.

Still not the baseball player

Reap what ye sow while ye may

LeBron James ruined the NBA for me

and apparently Damon Jones' night

In hindsight, "The Decision" has fundamentally shifted the landscape of professional basketball stardom. While the change had been imminent for years, this monstrosity of a PR nightmare was the straw that broke the camel's back, proverbially speaking.

One man's decision established precedence for how other "super" stars would treat their teams and their fan-bases.

Maybe the Miami Cheat were fated during that rumored wedding toast. Perhaps New York will yet witness the dawning of its own trifecta, with the public and not-so-public (future) defections of Carmelo and CP3 will prove. Deron Williams is frustrated and is likely to leave Utah when his contract expires in 2 years.

We aren't talking about your typical free-agent bonanza. NBA free agency usually consists of a pou-pou platter of degrading rotation players and discarded draft picks. This isn't the NFL, where you can regularly find talented players undrafted. In the NBA, more often than not, the cream rises to the top. One player can impact the game to a greater degree.

And yet when it comes time for free-agency, it isn't supposed to be those impact players switching teams. In fact, it was practically unheard of for decades (sure, there are notable exceptions). But the point stands, the defections of James and Bosh (taking their "talents" to South Beach) we're in and of themselves unprecedented.

Why wouldn't a group of 20-something rich celebrities not want to hang out all the time in perfect weather?

Because of the precedent set by LeBron's selfish motives, every star athlete views it as his given right to play for a winning team with people he likes.

Who cares about the team that drafted them, gave them a job, took a chance?

Who cares about the fans who have emotionally invested themselves in their team (for better or worse)?

Star players are beginning to believe that it is up to them to do whatever it takes to see that their needs are taken care of above all else. If your team just isn't quite cutting it, demand a trade, or wait and leave.

I've heard the argument that it's a business, and that team's don't show loyalty either.

Aren't we beyond that simplistic logic when we talk about this caliber of player? Doesn't being in the upper stratosphere of talent afford you the luxury of upholding noble principles? Have you ever lectured a famine-victim on ethics? 

Like I said, LeBron James ruined the NBA for me. In one off-season, Miami accomplished (talent-wise) what my team (Blazers) have been building towards for years, patiently, with their own nucleus.

Screw the building approach, now big-market teams can just court superstars through eventual free-agency. And those superstars can and will put entire fan-base's on edge, ultimately breaking their hearts. You don't think Nuggets fans would rather say "screw you" to 'Melo and kick his ass to the curb? It hurts to have someone look you in the eyes and lie to your face.

Maybe Mr. LaLa Anthony can pull the knife out of Denver's back for the next guy to use.

He definitely dropped that baby

Mixed Metaphors (There's no 'I' in Dead Horse)

Today, the Portland Trailblazers announced Center Marcus Camby would require left-knee surgery to repair a meniscus tear.

Karma is, indeed, a B

It is a season, yet again, mired in injury. And yet adversity presents itself as an opportunity for self-reflexivity and, ultimately, improvement.

The man drafted in front of Kevin Durant is out for the season, again.

The franchise hero underwent double knee surgery.

Only recently our backup center returned from injuring the same knee twice the previous season.

And now this.

It seems as if constant injury is a tired theme with this team. References to us as the "frailblazers" cannot be refuted, because health is something outside of the athlete's control. At least presumably. And this news which at first glance appears to be beating a dead horse is actually a lesson in disguise.

We never had a championship window.

In 2007, the Blazers were THE upcoming team. After drafting Oden first overall and uniting him in a core alongside Roy, Aldridge, Batum, Bayless and a stable of vets, we were odds on favorites to contend for the Western Conference title for years to come.

Fast-forward to now, and several season-ending knee surgeries for Mr. Oden later we have never truly experienced a playoffs where we had all our weapons. Hell, we've barely had a playoff run with our best player healthy.

And during this time, the team has gelled more than ever. We've put up 50 win seasons sporting a cumulative injury report rivaling Webster's Encyclopedia. With LaMarcus Aldridge blossoming into an all-star, Wesley Matthews filling in serviceably for Brandon Roy, and a variety of role players contributing above-expectations we're on track for yet another playoff appearance.

In fact, most feel good stories occur outside of first-place.

So while the L*kers, Celtics, cHeat-ers, and Magic make title runs, we can be content with what we have. Fate may have dealt us a bad hand so far. Who knows, maybe in some year to come we'll hit blackjack?

For now, leave the "I" to them.

We have 'Team'.

KG originally killed the horse, then beat it, then pulled down 13 boards that night

What could have been (and what never will be)

Not pictured: hope-crushing inevitability

I've always lived life by the maxim "you never know what you have before it's gone". To me, this motto is a constant reminder to appreciate what I have and apply a certain degree of reflexivity to my own consciousness. If we do not take honest assessments of ourselves, how can we possibly know what to appreciate, and what to improve upon?

The 2010-2011 NBA season is unfolding like a flash of lightning before our eyes.

The Miami Heat have close to 30 wins and only 9 losses, despite starting players I would never play with even in the most drunken, peer-pressure induced game of NBA 2k ever. The Boston Celtics appear to have found half their roster on a retirement cruise, and yet lead the Eastern Conference with it's best record. The Lakers are playing like the defending champs ought to, displaying tremendous depth. In sum, the NBA aristocracy is flourishing.

Here in the metaphorical slums of Portland Trailblazers fandom, things aren't as rosy.

Greg Oden, the pentulimate definition of disappointing, is out for the season yet again, proving once and for all that instead of getting Hakeem, we got Bowie all over again.

Greg.. Saaaaaaad.......

Brandon Roy, the teams rookie of the year, 3-time all-star and franchise savior, is experience a dramatic deterioration in the health of his knee(s) (honestly nobody really knows what's going on, the team is being more tight-lipped on this subject than an FCC Censor on George Carlin's comedy career).

We all know what he's thinking

So two members of our dreamed-of "big three" (Roy, Aldridge, Oden) are out of the picture.

In the Summer of 2007, when we used the first overall pick in the draft to tab Greg Oden, our management (in particular the late, great Kevin Pritchard) envisioned our team as San Antonio-West. This isn't a stretch-of-the-imagination comparison made popular on sports talk radio, KP would literally refer to the Spurs behind closed doors as the model for our franchise. A defensively-dominant big man (Duncan, Oden), an incredibly versatile and reliable wing (Ginobili, Roy), and super-talented third player who brings an added dimension (Parker-penetration, Aldridge- a mobile, face-up big man). Litter in a smattering of above-average to good role players (Dre, Batum, Fernandez, The Pryzbilla Thrilla) and we could, nay, we would end up being consistent championship contenders. We didn't need Oden to be a stud on offense, we already had an offensively-proficient big man and a stud at the shooting guard position, we just needed Greg to do what he did in college, play some of the best interior defense seen since David Robinson, Hakeem Olijuwan, and Tim Duncan. Nicolas Batum, one of the aforementioned role players, happens to be (quietly) one of the best perimeter defenders in the country. Put him on the other teams best player, with a hyper-athletic Oden patrolling the paint, and we had the makings of a dominant defensive team with a highly efficient offense. Efficient in the sense that while we had a low pace, almost every year we ranked in the top of the league in terms of points per possession, a key measure of offensive efficiency. Defense and offensive efficiency, surely the two most important ingredients to playoff success?

Instead, Oden kept getting hurt, and LaMarcus Aldridge kept neglecting to rebound, then all of our backup bigs kept getting hurt, and Roy kept getting banged up in-season carrying the slack, and consecutive first-round playoff exits at the hands of the Rockets and Suns have brought us here.

To the place where dreams die. And where what could have been becomes what never will be.

Life, as it often does when going about making bad news happen, manages a silver lining.

This season, LA has emerged as one of the premier talents in the league, playing like an absolute all-star (something that had been a goal of his for years, but something he never lived up to until now). He's attacking the basket more, taking less shots from outside 10-12 feet, rebounding and playing good interior defense. All told, he's blossoming into the player we thought we got with the second overall pick in the 2005 draft.

Wes Matthews, the second-year player we gave a big free agency contract to, is also playing like an all-star, putting up averages remarkably similar to what Mr. Roy used to do for us on a game-to-game basis. He also plays superb perimeter defense, making him and Batum and lethal combination.

Marcus Camby, the big man we traded for from the Clippers, is rebounding like a beast (when healthy, he is approximately 370 years old after all) and playing solid interior D.

There is a legacy in this realization, a leftover memory as it were.

The guy we assume will no longer be able to be our fearless leader, and the guy who should have done so much more for us, aren't really a part of this current feel-good story.

I like rooting for this team, we are underdogs again and coming from a small-market, I think that's how it will be more often than not. The little guy rarely gets to play spoiler.

And yet its odd watching the ebb and flow of this current team without thinking back to what could have been, and what never will be. Every team and, really, every person has a story to tell along these lines. Every vocabulary can express regret. A part of me wishes that for one season, even for one playoffs, I could have seen the team I thought we had back then. Just once, it would have been nice to go on a run. Just once during my lifetime, it'd be nice if things worked out like they did in '77. I've always dreamed of attending a title parade.

Instead, this is my reality.

We won't be winning any championships, and unless we make a move our ceiling is consistent playoff team, consistent first-round exit.

And you know what? Compared to the "what never will be" of others, I'm perfectly fine with this outcome. I can roll with this. Life rarely works out the way you want it to.

And if life gives you lemons, distill lemon vodka and invite some girls over.

Do I even need to point out which one's Ben Roethlisberger?