The NFC West is really, really bad. No I’m serious. The NFC West’s parents disowned it. The NFC West’s party-crazed girlfriend broke up with him for being TOO bad. The NFC West’s priest walked out of confessional time. The NFC West’s high school teachers had to collectively come up with a grade lower than F. The NFC West’s boss would fire him, except it might be perceived as discriminatory employment practices.
In sum, the NFC West is more inept than the illiterate crack-head who sleeps in a parking lot because he hasn’t figured out what bridges are for.
Through week 11 of the 2010 NFL season, here are the standings in the NFC West:
Seattle Seahawks (5-5) - Lost
St. Louis (4-6) - Lost
San Francisco (3-7) - Lost
Arizona (3-7) – I’m beginning to see a pattern here.
Does anyone know why we're wearing these uniforms and standing on this field? No? Ok, how about we go home. We can't? Well I'm stumped.
Seattle’s remaining games are: Vs. Chiefs, Panthers, Falcons, Rams and At. 49ers, Buccaneers.
Assuming wins against the lowly Panthers and 49ers, and a squeaker against the feisty Rams, and you have an 8-8 playoff team.
Hold on, I just threw up in my mouth a little…
…
…
Ok I’m back. Even the above mentioned scenario seems far-fetched, considering the inability of NFC West teams to even consistently beat each other in predictable fashion. We could potentially be seeing a 7-9 playoff team. That’s right, the way the NFL playoffs work and the quality of the NFC West could usher in a BELOW .500 playoff team.
Hold on, gag reflex kicking in again.
It’s amazing that my Seahawks can get blown out by what seems like 30 points in 3 of 4 weeks and STILL be on top of their division. It really gives a man hope. If only Charlie Whitehurst’s hair could deliver motivational speeches in the huddle.
And the hair spoke: "everything will be alright. I mean, the guy under me will probably throw a few picks, but.. what was I saying again?"
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